These are actual Encounters by actual tech support representatives.  This is some of the worst, however they are also very common.  My main problem is when I ask a customer to locate a particular file, knowing it had to be there, and the customer says with feeling, it's not here.  How do you keep him looking without making him feel like you think he is a nuthead?  It's not easy, but I do it.  And I love it!  
         
  I can tell you that I am not happy that major companies have moved tech support out of the US and into some other country where English is a second and often misunderstood language, not only because of the loss of jobs in America, but also because they do not understand you and it is just as frustrating to try and explain the problem to them as it is to troubleshoot it yourself.  But being a tech support representative for many years, I have actually experienced what you will read below;  
         
  Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?    
  Female customer: A white one...    
         
  Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.    
  Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?    
  Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.    
  Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.    
  Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....    
         
  Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.    
  Customer: Your left or my left?    
         
  Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?    
  Male customer: Hello... I can't print.    
  Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...    
  Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I 'm not Bill Gates.    
         
  Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in    
    front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...    
         
  Customer: I have problems printing in red...    
  Tech support: Do you have a color printer?    
  Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.    
         
  Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?    
  Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.    
         
  Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.    
  Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?    
  Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.    
  Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.    
  Customer: ! OK    
  Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?    
  Customer: Yes    
  Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?    
  Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...    
         
  Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.    
  Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?    
         
  Customer: I can't get on the Internet.    
  Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?    
  Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.    
  Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?    
  Customer: Five stars.    
         
  I have actually encountered this one myself!  
  Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?    
  Customer: Netscape.    
  Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.    
  Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.    
         
  Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.    
         
  Tech support: How may I help you?    
  Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.    
  Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?    
  Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?    
         
  A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer    
  Tech support: Are you running it under windows?    
  Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his    
    printer is working fine."    
         
  Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now     
    type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."    
  Customer: I don't have a P.    
  Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.    
  Customer: What do you mean?    
  Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.    
  Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!    
         
 

One day I will record some of my actual encounters here, but I have to warn you, they may be unbelieveable!